Valentines Limericks

Here are some Limericks that I wrote for my Class
Happy Valentines Day!

O’Leary’s Gifts
There once was a man named O’Leary
On Valentine’s Day, he was weary.
His wife wanted more
So he went to the store
And got gifts that made her eyes teary.


Valentine’s Day Disconnect
Valentine’s Day comes just once a year
Girls in the land all begin to cheer
The men start to sweat,
They’ve never been right yet
They’d rather just go out and get a beer.


Unlearned Lesson
Poor Tom spent the night in the doghouse.
The gifts that he gave made him such a louse.
If he’d bought his wife jewels
Instead of more tools,
Her affection on him she would gladly douse.

My Story

Last night I went to Toastmasters. I liked it. I had a good feeling there. I liked the people and I liked what they had to say. In Toastmasters, when you give your first talk, or “icebreaker,” you introduce yourself and tell your story. Last night two women gave their icebreaker talks. I loved listening to their stories!
The first woman, Andrea, was very polished and had a well-organized and interesting talk. She told about where she came from and how she got to where she is now. I could relate to four or five things that said and I wanted to talk to her. Her confident yet humble style was very engaging.
A woman named Tara gave the second “icebreaker.” She was absolutely gorgeous. Her tall thin body, her lovely hair and her kind beautiful face gave me a sense of security, groundedness, confidence, and purpose. Her speech was about pivotal moments in her life. She was obviously nervous, clinging to her notes (which she didn’t use), and speaking with a slight quiver in her voice. She shared her heart. She told how her parent’s divorce had shaken her world and left her insecure and thinking poorly of herself. She also shared how God was directing her toward her purpose and helping her get back on track. I admired her for breaking through her insecurities by being vulnerable – sharing her heart in front of a room full of people. After she spoke, the message in my heart for her was;
“You are so beautiful. You have so much to give and you’re giving it! I can’t wait for you see in you what I see in you.”
If I enjoyed listening to these women so much, why do I have such resistance to sharing my own story? I feel a strong sense of embarrassment and shame around telling it. My story is a story of a little girl who believed that she had no talents and that she was flawed in a way that put her at a distinct disadvantage to her peers. This disadvantage made her know that if she did not have help from those around her, she would be left behind and alone. Then one day, she was shown that this story was made up from the perspective of a young child. She now had a choice to continue believing it as she always had or update it and see it through adult eyes. Seeing this choice was both the good news and the bad news, because leaving her story behind would upset everything in her world.
That’s my story.
Isn’t that the story of every person on this planet? Aren’t we all living out the same story with different details, at different stages? Why then, if this is the Universal Story, do I feel so separate and alone in it? Maybe part of the aloneness comes from hiding my story and thinking that I am the only one that has experienced it. Last week I shared part of my story with my creative writing class. I was embarrassed to show my writing. I was hesitant to bore them with all of the details of my experience. The reaction I got from them was very different from what I was expecting. They liked it. They related to it. They asked for more. That was exactly the way I felt after listening to Andrea and Tara at Toastmasters last night.
Is God big enough to heal my heart and allow enough acceptance and love to shine on what I have to say? Will I allow my story to thaw and then tell it? Is the desire to share, heal and speak my truth bigger then the insecurity and doubt that has run through my veins for most of my life? I guess the only way to find out is to put it to the test. So, I will write my story and share it with my creative writing class and on my blog. I will continue to go to Toastmasters, and I will give my “icebreaker.” The only way I know to find out the truth about God and the truth about me is to put it to the test.

Yin and Yang

This is an old post that I have revised.

The question What does the feminine and masculine energy mean to you? was posed to me. After pondering this question for a few days, I came up with an answer.

Recently I completed my job as a preschool teacher. The thoughts and feelings that have been surfacing since I took this action are densely packed in fear. This fear that I am experiencing is not new to me. It is a fear of not knowing what to do next. It is a fear of being lonely and bored. The busyness of my job has helped to keep this monster at bay. I awoke this morning panicked, consumed by this fear. I decided to address it with some free-form writing. It didn't take long before a voice emerged repeating the words, I don't want to. In the past, I have either listened to this voice and responded with procrastination, or silenced this voice by forcing myself to do what I had to do. This method of dealing with a part of me that doesn't want to has led me to negative self-judgment, jealously, despondency, depression, and pain. Today I wrote I don't want to over and over. I was tempted to move in and ask myself, Why, what caused this? Don't feel this way. However, I didn't. Instead, I responded with I hear you. It felt good to express what I had to say, and let it be. There was no need to judge, squelch, or fix.

The point of all of this is . . .

Feminine energy is acceptance, understanding, love and nurturing. It says: I love you just the way you are. I can see that you are hurt and suffering. Whatever you do is acceptable to me. It can be a nasty world out there. The feminine alone creates self-pity and despair, bringing understanding with no action. Masculine energy is judgment, action, and improvement. It says: You can do better than that. Don’t let your feelings stop you. You’re up to the task. If you want different results, you have to approach the problem differently. The masculine alone creates self-righteousness and force, calling for action without understanding.

I believe that bringing the understanding and love of the feminine energy to a person or situation is healing and comforting, sending messages such as I love you; I’m sorry that you’re hurt; You don’t have to go through this alone. It lays a foundation and creates an opening for the action and judgment of masculine energy to come in. The message the masculine energy brings is You have choice; How do you want to deal with this? What would support you to move forward? What do you need? What action can you take?

Listening to both the feminine and masculine sides of myself as I deal with an issue provides perfect balance and creates forward movement and growth.

I miss Jefferson

This Christmas all of my children were here except Jefferson. He is on his mission in Brazil. Jeff didn't get to be here, but we did get to talk to him. The following is something that I wrote about him the day he left for his mission.

I don't know what I think of motherhood. Sure it's wonderful - all of the cute things that they say and do. All of the fun things that I get to say and do because I have them. But what about the other part? What about all of the poopy diapers and talking back? Well, I guess I knew that that was a part of it too. The part that I'm having a tough time with is the broken heart that comes when one of my kids leave. Growing up and separating is natural and part of life, but it sure can hurt. Jefferson left for his mission in Brazil this week. I'm proud of him and I'm glad that he is going, but I'm really not enjoying feeling like my insides just got ripped out. If missing out on knowing him meant that I wouldn’t have to experience pain, I would definitely choose knowing him. But, if I had it my way, I’d skip the pain.

This week 6 of my 7 children, their spouses and children are all coming home for Christmas. I wrote some limericks to celebrate.


The family is here for the Holiday.
The Children and dogs need a place to stay.
My house is so small,
We will all have a ball.
Thank goodness next season’s a year a way.

The family is here for Christmas.
Expectations, traditions are quite a fuss.
If I do enough now,
They will ask me to bow.
Then finally they’ll call me “Your Highness.”

The Project

My assignment is to design a project for school that has heart and meaning for me.

As I thought about what I might do I had lots of ideas. I could do something to make the world a better place – maybe start a nonprofit or work with the homeless or orphans. But what really inspires me and excites me are things that seem selfish and self- centered: create a beautiful garden to love and work in; focus on my body and create “optimal health;” explore Los Angeles; complete a list of goals that I have wanted to tackle for years; establish myself as a healer, facilitating issue resolution and emotional healing.
Selfish, self-centered – is it ok for me to invest so much time exploring me and my life? Will God approve? Will I be acceptable to my family and church community?
Being obedient and doing my part is important to me, so I have devoted much of my life to doing what I was told and putting the needs of my family and church first. Giving up my needs somehow made me feel like a “good mother.” Taking the time to find out what makes me tick has been a luxury that I have been too “unselfish” to take. So now, doing a project with “me” as the focus is stepping out of my noble box.
Rather than spend my time worrying about the definition of selfish and self-centered, I can use my project to see what happens if I take a year and intentionally focus on myself.
This can be a time for me to find out what I want and how I am going to use my gifts and talents in the future. Would I be selfish on an airplane to put the oxygen mask on before I put it on my children? Maybe “selfish” and “self-centered” aren’t the evil words I have believed them to be. Maybe if I had taken the time years ago to ask myself what I thought and what I wanted, I wouldn’t feel so lost now.
Maybe being “self-centered” is the most unselfish thing I can do. Selfish or
not, I’m going for it!

Who am I?

Who am I?

My name is Phyllis Anita Shaw Wiggins. Each one of these names has a story to tell, but I’m not my name.

I have seven wonderful children. Raising them and creating a loving home has been the main focus of my life, but I’m more than just a mother.

Grandma is something that I am called, but is that who I am?

I’ve loved my husband since I was 14, I married him at 21, and we have been happily married for 33 years, but wife is just one way to describe me.

Teacher, student, learner, quilter, cook, gardener, skier, singer, Cub Scout leader, horseback rider, reader - any one of these words can be used to describe me and what I love.

I love to philosophize and I can talk to anyone about anything for as long as they will engage in conversation. Who does that make me?

Sometimes I get frustrated and yell, curse, fight, and cry, but I don’t consider myself evil.

Secretly, I am a mystic, healer, visionary and teacher. This is who I want to say that I am, but I’ve been too scared to claim it.

So, who am I?

I am a 53-year-old woman who loves people, nature, adventure, learning and God. I do good things and I make mistakes. I struggle with perfectionism and believing in myself. Essentially, I am a beautiful child of God who is dedicated to making my truth about me harmonious with God’s truth about me.