The Project

My assignment is to design a project for school that has heart and meaning for me.

As I thought about what I might do I had lots of ideas. I could do something to make the world a better place – maybe start a nonprofit or work with the homeless or orphans. But what really inspires me and excites me are things that seem selfish and self- centered: create a beautiful garden to love and work in; focus on my body and create “optimal health;” explore Los Angeles; complete a list of goals that I have wanted to tackle for years; establish myself as a healer, facilitating issue resolution and emotional healing.
Selfish, self-centered – is it ok for me to invest so much time exploring me and my life? Will God approve? Will I be acceptable to my family and church community?
Being obedient and doing my part is important to me, so I have devoted much of my life to doing what I was told and putting the needs of my family and church first. Giving up my needs somehow made me feel like a “good mother.” Taking the time to find out what makes me tick has been a luxury that I have been too “unselfish” to take. So now, doing a project with “me” as the focus is stepping out of my noble box.
Rather than spend my time worrying about the definition of selfish and self-centered, I can use my project to see what happens if I take a year and intentionally focus on myself.
This can be a time for me to find out what I want and how I am going to use my gifts and talents in the future. Would I be selfish on an airplane to put the oxygen mask on before I put it on my children? Maybe “selfish” and “self-centered” aren’t the evil words I have believed them to be. Maybe if I had taken the time years ago to ask myself what I thought and what I wanted, I wouldn’t feel so lost now.
Maybe being “self-centered” is the most unselfish thing I can do. Selfish or
not, I’m going for it!